The Art of Emotions

Hello everyone, welcome to the Said in Therapy Podcast. Have you ever considered going to therapy and you ended up not going? My question is why? In my humble opinion, I believe everyone can benefit from therapy. In fact, I believe everybody should go at least once in their life.

My name is Iman Tohami and I'm a psychologist. This podcast tells you all about everyday cases with everyday people who have everyday problems and difficulties and sometimes they carry around really deep wounds. These are their stories.

It's the end of the week. How do you feel? Today I'm going to talk to someone who is not my patient. And she's also not a mental health expert. She's also not a doctor. She is an illustrator. I found her on Instagram, and her art is so amazing.

She uses her art to draw emotions. And in a way, she's telling her own story. But I found when I went through her art that it really spoke to me, and it was actually a universal language that she spoke.

And I am quite sure if you take a look at her art that you will feel the same way. I will leave her handle or handles to be exact in the description so you can just click on it and look at it whenever you want.

Her handle is @rockinruksi. Her name is Rukmini Poddar, and she is amazing. Just listen to what she had to say. I really enjoyed that conversation. And I hope you do too. Enjoy.

And just to give the audience an idea, I stumbled upon your profile on Instagram, and there are so many great illustrations. And I thought, I really have to talk to you. Would you like to tell me what inspired you to do this?

Yeah, well, thank you so much, Iman.

Yeah, it's um it's super nice to connect with you on here. And um, if anyone has familiar with my work or can go on my Instagram and see what I do, I I um draw emotions. And I I like to say that I almost stumbled into this little niche of drawing.

It wasn't ever my uh full-on intention. I don't have a formal background in psychotherapy or or psychology, but I draw emo I draw illustrations that evoke emotions in people. And I'm very passionate about um just that cross, the intersection between emotional health and well-being and storytelling.

And so this is kind of the art style I've developed over the years and and what I'm currently doing right now.

It's so great. Um, if you like, if you can certainly share your profile here, but I will also put it in the description. I really recommend everyone to have a look. The illustrations are so amazing, and I really cannot pick because there are so many that actually spoke to me.

But I remember the first um illustration that I came across when I was well, to give the audience a background story, I was looking for illustrators to do some work for me. And then I did some research, and then I stumbled upon your um Instagram profile, and then I found this um illustration.

It's basically looked like two balloons and it sat together and alone and they were meeting in the middle. And for some reason, without even reading what you really wrote about it, or I cannot even remember the caption, to be honest.

But I really, when I close my eyes, I I really have this illustration in front of me. So I wanted to ask you about this one in specific because it spoke to me.

Oh, I'm so happy to hear that. Um, yeah, it's so interesting. I've I've created a lot of illustrations on different topics, and it's really great to hear which one resonates with different people. I I'm trying to imagine the one I drew that you're describing.

I think I know which one it is. It's like a Venn diagram, it's these two circles. Um, very simple drawing, and then they meet in the middle, and there's two people. There's one in one circle and one in another.

Um, and it I think it was titled, I'm trying to remember, but it was something about like, you know, the where we connect. Because the idea is that we have these two worlds and we're living in our own worlds, but when you're coming together in relationship, there's going to be some overlap, and the place that we like, what is it that holds us together?

And I think in that little bubble I wrote, vulnerability is the place that we connect. Um, but the idea, the idea is um, I've recently been drawing illustrations that come with worksheets, like just an outline that people can kind of draw inside themselves.

So the idea is that you can fill in these circles with how you connect with other people. Um, so I just like to provide these simple, like these simplified illustrations as frameworks to really think about these more complicated topics and for people to think about how this resonates in their life.

Um, so yeah.

It's actually so amazing because as I said, when I look at your illustrations, and there are really so many that spoke to me, but that one basically was the first one. So I remember it so vividly. But when I look at your illustration, it's almost like you have an idea what psychotherapy is or how psychotherapy works.

And it feels almost like, oh my god, there is a deep instinct at speaking here, and you are putting it into not only words, but putting it using colors and shapes and other means just to describe how you can basically improve your life, even if you feel a certain way, and it's maybe a negative emotion.

I'm curious to know how you learned that or if this something that just, I don't know, happened to you and you found out, oh, I'm actually good at this.

Yeah, it's a it's an interesting thing. I think it's a combination of both. Um, I don't, like I said in the beginning, I don't have formal training in psychotherapy, although I'm very interested in it. I like to read books on it, but I've never been trained in it.

And so it's kind of funny that I, well, I'm so grateful that so many therapists are finding so much use for my work, but part of me is almost wondering like, where is this coming from if I haven't been trained?

And I do think a part of it um comes kind of, I guess naturally through just personal reflection and introspection. Um, and I think being an artist, I always like to dig a little deeper in my own self.

Um, so I've just gained a lot of uh confidence through the process of self-learning. Um, a lot of what you see in my art, and I do so many, it's because every year I try to commit to a project called the 100 Day Project.

And so I pick a topic and I just create for a hundred days. Um, and I think in doing that, in this in the creative process, there's something that you can really tap into of what's going on within you.

And I believe that a lot of truths can come out that resonate with other people. Um, so anyway, to answer your question of how did I learn this, I guess the simple answer is that I didn't learn it, but yet I believe creativity and and mental health are very connected because it's so much about looking inwards.

Um, and there's a motto that I like to, I guess I like to live by and I like to um, you know, it's like a one of the principles in my art, and it's what is most personal is most universal.

So I really believe that when we act very vulnerably and we share what's really, really personal to us, it's super, it's it's completely universal. Um, so many people, it'll resonate with so many people, and that's just what I learned because how I started doing this, I never had this idea, okay, mental health, okay, I'm gonna draw it, I'm gonna attract all these people.

Never, I had no plan or vision or scope of that. It really started from such a simple place of how am I feeling today? And I want to draw that, and I want to act vulnerably by sharing that with the world.

And just by doing this like very simple self-work of checking in how I was feeling and drawing it, it just started this um kind of ripple effect of it was touching, you know, other people were seeing it, they were resonating, they were commenting, I was creating more, and suddenly like a little bit of community was building from that, and I can see that the artwork I was making about myself, um, it was really about other people

because what's very personal to me will be about others, if that makes sense. Um, very much like my art becomes a mirror. That's how I like to see it. Even though it's very personal to me, a lot of the topics that I draw are things that I'm directly experiencing.

I like to say that it's a mirror. So when anyone else sees a mirror, they see themselves looking back.

You said something so important because when I speak to patients in my office, I often tell them, listen, your story is so unique because it's yours, and there's no nobody else who lives your story the story but you.

But in reality, we are never alone. So everything you went through, there was at least someone else who went through the exact same thing. So the emotions are the same. The story might differ in in various ways, or uh the plot might be changing and the people participating in that story might be different, but the feeling is always the same.

And I think, as you said, when you draw something very personal, there is always someone who will see that picture and think, oh my god, this speaks to me. This is basically about me, and I cannot believe it.

So this is actually so cool, and I'm actually so glad that you brought that up.

It's the magic of um emotions, it's completely universal. No matter what language you speak or where you are in the world, everyone can relate. So it's quite beautiful.

Yes, I absolutely agree. You know, I don't know if you're familiar with this, but in therapy, we often um recommend people to journal and write down their emotions or write down what happened to them throughout the day, just to sort out their emotions and thoughts.

Do you feel that your art is doing the same for you?

That's a really nice question. I completely believe that. My art is definitely a type of self-processing. It's like journaling, but um visual. And when I started my series at which started this whole, you know, my whole uh portfolio, I guess you can say, of emotional drawings, I started it by just trying to process how I was feeling.

But I took the challenge of visualizing it rather than journaling it. And that's what it was for me. But what's really beautiful is that it serves as a tool for others to process their emotions. And that that's what gets me really excited as an artist and as an illustrator to feel like I can create something personal to me, but that is also a tool for other people to understand themselves better.

Tell us a little bit more about your 100 uh days project. You mentioned this now a couple of times, but uh what was the initial thought behind it?

Um, very simple. It was just a way for me to reconnect with my own creativity. Um, the 100 Day Project is a very popular project. It happens, I guess you can say it happens online. It's like a global artist project.

Everyone they pick something they want to do for 100 days, they hashtag it and they post it on Instagram. And I did my first 100 Day project back in 2015. So I just graduated from college. I was a graphic designer in college, um, but I was always on the computer and I was always doing digital things.

So I wanted to use my hands a bit. So I did just very simple abstract paintings, nothing really deep, nothing like super interesting, but um it was really, it was really powerful. It just really connected me back to creating.

And I feel the 100 Day Project taught me many lessons more than anything. It really taught me the power of just putting yourself out there and creating work that might be imperfect and incomplete, but um not letting that stop you.

You know, so often, whether we're creative or not, or whatever we're doing in our life, we won't show people, we won't say it's finished unless it's perfect or it's done to completion. But there's something really great about just doing something, and whether you're done or not, you say, okay, this is what I did today, and then you move on and you keep moving on.

And then after a hundred days, you have this big body of work that's just incredible. Like I never thought, even if it's a hundred little sketches, it's still a hundred. So I often say I really believe in the power of quantity over quality.

Um, quality is important, but you don't want to underestimate quantity to just create a massive amount of quantity, it will really like you will make amazing discoveries about yourself. So I did that in 2015, and I really I promised myself I would do this every year, like no matter what.

I just want to try it. And um, here we are, it's 2020, five years later, and I'm still doing it. It's not easy. And I also give myself some grace. Like some years I do it in a hundred days, some days, some years it takes me a whole year to do a 100-day project.

Um, you know, I allow that space, but I just find it something really powerful to say, okay, this year I'm committing myself again to doing this project. Um, and by doing so, it just gives me the space to creatively express myself.

And that's how I really found that's how all these illustrations came out of me from doing these projects year after year.

That's so beautiful. And you said actually, I I want to revisit that thought where you said, um, I believe in quantity over quality, even though quality is of course important. But you know how how many people actually go to therapy because they're perfectionists or be they believe they are perfectionists and they cannot let go of something because it's not perfect.

And I believe, I really believe that practice is the most important thing. And if you manage to create content for a hundred days, it doesn't matter if the days are if it is day after day or in a year, that you actually give yourself the space to practice and get better at what you do.

Yeah, absolutely. It's so interesting. You said that so many perfectionists come to therapy. And I can understand that because as anyone who's a perfectionist, they put so much pressure on themselves. And I feel that with myself, and there's like this unattainable expectation, and and we're just doing it to ourselves.

There's no need to put that on us. And so I think giving ourselves permission to make a mess, to screw up, to kind of just be imperfect is so, oh my God, it's like a huge burden off your shoulders.

And it's so powerful because nobody is perfect, and if you find your truth in your imperfections, you're actually unstoppable. I have been thinking a lot, obviously, about 2020 because it's such an interesting year. And I use this word interesting on purpose because I believe we can all look at 2020 and think it was a horrible year, it was a fantastic year.

But for me, it was really an interesting year, um, or still is because we are not we are halfway through, but God knows what will happen next. Yeah, the reality is I believe so many people learned so much about themselves in 2020.

Do you feel the same?

Yeah, and I really love how you frame that that we're learning about ourselves because uh the truth is it's a heavy year, you know, even if not, you know, some people might be feeling it more than others, but it's heavy just from politics to health to safety, COVID.

I mean, everything has changed. And I feel like what we're left to do is cope in some way. And by coping, it means like we just really, I mean, first of all, we have to just be with ourselves for the first time in God knows how long, just really be with ourselves and understand that.

And then we have to learn new ways of being. Like all of our old patterns have completely shifted and changed, and and we're really adapting. And I think in that adaptation, we're questioning old patterns that were harmful. We're thinking of new ways of doing things, and um, that's actually exciting now that it when you frame it in that way, it's actually exciting um what this is doing to us, how this is changing us.

I totally agree with you. I also think it's very important to reflect a little more because in stillness there come up so many issues, and I uh obviously I think psychotherapists are one of the uh professional groups that didn't struggle during that time because it's it was obviously for a very sad reason.

But uh at the same time, I recognize that there are so many people who didn't consider psychotherapy before he came who came exactly because of 2020. And so many people were able to dive really deep and understand better what they want from life, and suddenly everything that seemed important before is not that important anymore.

Yeah. I think what I want to ask you is did you have moments like that in 2020?

Oh yes. I'm glad you asked. It's quite nice, actually. I really I really love how you're framing this. It's making 2020 is really a year where everything that was insubstantial or not very important kind of fades away, and you really see what's very important.

I mean, even from mortality being so like visible in our eyes, like people we know, and you know, like literally dying in front of us, is so it can really shake your world and be super unsettling. But at the same time, if we're able to understand that, it helps us see like what is most important and really prioritize that in our life.

So I I think for me, it's really helped also. Um, I had a lot of plans this year, a lot of things I wanted to do. And um, yeah, it didn't work out, it didn't happen. So I would say for me, what's been quite amazing this year is um just a complete shift in my plans.

So it's kind of this realization that I'm not in control, and that can be really scary, but also I think it allowed me to just trust and just kind of go with the flow a little bit. Um, so you know, I had plans because I was living in New York for a few years and now I'm back with my family in Florida ever since COVID hit in March.

And I never thought this, you know, I thought, okay, maybe I'd go to Florida for a few months and come back, and it's really seeming like, okay, I think that chapter of my New York life is finished and I'm back with my parents.

I'm living with them in Florida, like this isn't what I thought. Um, so so many kind of changes like that, work changes, relationship changes. Um, even just I was in a long-distance relationship, that was just seeming impossible to work at the moment.

So that's shifting. So there was just a lot that felt like, oh man, I had these plans for myself, and that's not happening. So that felt like, in one sense, grieving that loss, but in another sense, I'm seeing a lot of opportunities come.

I'm like thinking of my life in a whole different way. Um, even what I'm doing with my art, I'm really prioritizing that more than I have in the past. It was always kind of a side project alongside my work, and um, which was nice, but I never gave myself permission to just like go for it.

And I think with COVID, um, I'm giving myself more permission to do what I really, really want rather than doing other types of works or prioritizing other people in relationships. So um, in one sense, although it's sad to let go of certain um people and places, it's kind of it's kind of special and amazing to see what comes as new opportunities.

So that's what I'm learning to do, you know, and in some ways for me, this whole COVID year has been a time of holding opposite emotions. I really come back to this and it helps me because it's not just good and it's not just bad, it's like simultaneously both at the same time.

So there's a lot of like grief of so many losses, personal and knowing of other family and friends going through things. And then there's actually times of celebration. And it's just an awkward, funny, interesting thing to hold both because sometimes we feel guilty to celebrate during such a time.

Um, but I think celebration is also important. So it's just um yeah, holding both and feeling a little sobered, you know. Absolutely.

So beautifully sad. You know, listening to you and looking at your art, I actually thought about a post that I have shared a couple of weeks ago, I think maybe. And basically I was talking about therapy and how this is not always the right way for everyone.

Obviously, I'm a huge advocate for um therapy if you need it and if you feel that you need to talk to someone who is professional. But I also listen to you and think you're actually the prime example when I think about people who don't necessarily need therapy, but use techniques that we all learn in therapy and implement it in in their own ways and apply things on your on their lives and make it better that way.

Obviously, I know I can hear that you went through a lot, but I can also see that you tried to see the best in everything that happened to you.

Yeah, trying, definitely. And um, I'm I think I've been learning these little simple techniques that I draw about and I put in my illustrations, and I found them to be so helpful. And like you said, I feel like there's so much kind of like self-maintenance work we could do to keep our own mental health in check and to like take care of ourselves.

And so for me, I love that's something I really advocate for, you know, taking time to be with oneself, just breathing, journaling, um, taking inventory of what are things we're grateful for, all this stuff. Um, you know, it's something I'm still learning.

I've definitely not that I'm I've got it down and I'm good to go. I'm learning, and as I learn it, I'd like to share it with people because I feel like this is kind of what we need now collectively.

It's just ways to take care of ourselves in a very holistic and simple way. So it doesn't feel like, okay, I have to go to theory. You know, it's like we have other options too.

Definitely. So we almost uh reached the end, and I think I want to finish with asking you, how do you feel?

Oh, it's a great question, a loaded question always, and a question I always write and draw about. So I appreciate that. But um at this moment, I'm feeling really um I'm feeling good, and I almost feel a little suspicious of that.

I think back to the complexity of the year. It's hard to feel one emotion or the other. Um, it's been a rocky few months, but at this point I'm feeling settled, I'm feeling grateful, and I'm feeling hopeful of my future and also hopeful of just where the world is going, even though it's such a dark time.

I think people are coming together and we're really doing our best to cope through the year. Um so yeah, that's how I'm feeling. And it's just one day at a time because I'm just aware that that whole feeling might change tomorrow, but that's okay.

I think this is the best advice that we can give anyone. One day at a time. Take it as it comes and don't rush into anything right now.

Yeah, exactly.

Rukmini, I'm I'm so happy you found the time and you carved out the time to do this with me. Thank you so much for sharing your story and your thoughts. And yeah, it's I'm so glad that we had the opportunity to speak to each other.

Thank you so much, Iman. Thank you for um just this rich conversation. It was really wonderful. We got to speak about so much in such a short amount of time.

Thank you so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed the episode so far. If you have any questions or suggestions, please don't hesitate to reach out. You can find me on social media, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. The handle is always @saidintherapy.