How to Stop Overthinking, Stressing & Worrying (3 Ways that WORK!)

Hello everyone, welcome back. Today we are going to talk about a never-ending question. I get it on a regular basis. I am not kidding. This question I get every day, sometimes on multiple occasions. And the question is, how do I stop overthinking?

How do I stop stress and excessive worry? So I decided today I want to provide you with some tools that can really help you if you apply them on a you know regular basis every day. But before we start, I want to introduce myself.

My name is Iman Tohami. If you're new here, welcome. I'm a licensed psychologist in the EU and Dubai, a counselor to many corporates, and a strong advocate for mental health. So let's get started and discuss how we can control overthinking, and I truly hope that this is going to be helpful for you.

Enjoy.

So the question that you need to ask yourself when you have a thought that is reoccurring or that is causing you a huge amount of stress and worry, is it helpful? Is it going to be productive? Is the thought going to be useful to get me out of this stressful overthinking cycle?

Look, this is why toxic positivity does not work. Just because we decide we are going to be positive about something and that we are going to distract ourselves, it doesn't mean that this is going to erase certain thoughts, especially when they are reoccurring and you're struggling with them for a very long time.

You know, when we attempt to be just all of a sudden positive and distract ourselves and put the thoughts aside, all it does is, you know, you're parking the thoughts, and especially before you you go to sleep, you will find yourself thinking about the same exact thing.

Because, you know, the reference points are not really changing. You're still worried about the exact same thing, but you don't know how to approach it. So this is also why I'm telling you, be intentional about your thoughts without overthinking the judgment around it.

That means if, for example, you're thinking about something really bad, don't judge it. Just think, okay, is this going to help me? Is this going to be productive? Is this going to be something that I can use to solve a problem that I have?

So at least at first give yourself the freedom to entertain a thought without having to explain it right away. So what helps me personally is I write it down. If I'm worried about something, I write it down, and then later on when I look at it, I'm thinking, okay, this is how I was feeling this morning.

Was this productive? Is this something that I can change? You know, our thoughts reoccur. We seem to think that we have new thoughts to overthink. But if you take a closer look at what you're actually thinking, you might recognize a theme or a subject that you always fall into.

For example, if you're constantly worried about how people perceive you, it is always the same core idea. Only the key players in a situation change. Whether it is your coworker, your boss, your father, or a potential relationship partner.

It is always about how do people perceive me. So when you write down your thoughts and you become very intentional about them, it's also very helpful for you to recognize what are the key areas that you tend to overthink.

We are set on a certain outlook in our life. It is not really in our control, it is also the way we were conditioned when we are children, we get conditioned by the behavior of our parents, you know, the soap social context that we were brought up in, and all of these things still play a role when we get to be adults.

So it's very important to recognize what are the core areas in my life that cause me to overthink. So, first step, get intentional about your thoughts. Write them down, or just you know, hold them in your mind for a little bit.

What is it actually that I'm worrying about? The second step is actually my favorite in a way. When something bad happens to us, our emotions stand in our way of actually perceiving what is true. So my personal favorite is reality checks.

Let me give you an example. You are at work, your laptop breaks down, you have an important presentation, and your initial thought influences your emotions about what is going to be, how you're going to feel about it, and how you're going to solve it.

So it's that type of feeling that will hinder you from approaching something realistically. So the question is always, is this going to matter to me in five years, five months, five days, in some cases even five minutes? We always feel when we are in a situation of threat that this is the end of the world.

You know, it doesn't really matter how tiny the situation is. When you try to detect the feeling behind it, you will find it it's always huge. It's always, you know, very overwhelming. But when you have a reality check, you will find out quite quickly that this is not as bad as it seems, and by that you also create room to find solutions.

Now let me be clear. Some things happen and there is clearly a tragedy, or it's something really tragic that happened to you. And in some phases, we tend to think that this is the end of our life. And I don't want to rush anyone through grief or pain because we all need time to reflect and process, and sometimes it takes a bit longer than usual, I would say, or longer than you anticipated.

This question, is this going to matter in X amount of time, is something that is very powerful even in those situations. Because I always say this the only constant in life is change, and that means bad things are always going to be better in the future.

So getting that type of perspective, you know, zooming out of a situation, you will see that you're having a bad moment or a bad phase, but not a bad life. This third and last thing that I think is very powerful is mindfulness.

Now if you are if you are someone who is generally interested in psychology, you will come across this term quite a lot. Mindfulness means being present in the now. And it's also therefore the favorite of so many people.

But as I shared before, my personal favorite is reality checks. I like slapping myself out of bad situations. Well, slap is a bad word, but I use reality checks all the time to make sense of what's happening to me right now.

But it doesn't mean that mindfulness is not important. Mindfulness is actually equally, if not more, important than reality checks. Let me tell you something. There is always something beautiful to focus on. And I have proof for that. Because, you know, I have been to war-torn countries before, and even there, or maybe especially there, people tend to focus on better things because they have literally no choice.

I have seen people celebrating a wedding literally in the debris of war just because they refuse to give up on life. And they fully soaked in the wedding and the celebration of the couple that will start their new lives together.

Now that's a very extreme example, but mindfulness really works. And sometimes really the only way forward. It is difficult, I will give you that, and it takes practice. But for that I want to offer you almost a technique, something that you can use every day and practice every day, but it is it is very you know, it's proven to be working.

And that is the five, four, three, two, one technique. It basically means that you're focusing on your five senses. So what you do is this. Focus on five things you can see. Any five things will do. For all I know, you can, you know focus on five spaghetti pieces.

Whatever it is, foc focus on five things. Next, focus on four things you can touch. Think of a table, you know, your hair, your pants, your couch, anything. Five things you can touch. Next is three things you can hear.

Maybe a person speaking, a phone ringing, a song, a bird, anything really, anything that is available. And if you're having a hard time recognizing those three things that you can hear, open the window. I can guarantee you there are three things that you can hear.

Two things that you can smell. I don't know if you know, I don't know if you follow me on social media, but I recently shared that I have a ridiculous big collect of perfumes. And I really don't want anyone to do the same unless you really, really want to.

But my obsession with scent and smell is so ridiculous because I know how powerful it is, at least for me. It instantly stimulates your brain. So smell two things, and it will help your brain to shift. You know, it doesn't need to be perfume or scents, but okay, you know, think of something very simple.

One of my favorites is actually coffee. And then lastly, focus on one thing you can taste. Now I don't want you to go cuckoo on this, don't go overboard. A piece of chocolate will definitely do, but mind your health.

And if you don't know, you can also taste water. So focus on what drinking water and taste it because believe it or not, there are different types of water and you can actually taste them. So yeah. This is the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, and as I said, it's very, very powerful, and I really really hope that you will try it.

I hope this answered for you how to deal with overthinking and how to control your thoughts in some type of way. But as I said, it definitely needs some practice. It's like going to the gym, the mind gym.

But I encourage you because this is actually something you can focus on right now. You can try to practice right now, actually. Once you finish listening to this podcast, try it. It's really good. Alright, I really hope to welcome you next week again.

And yes, I'm going to be more regular again, and I hope you enjoyed. Thank you.

Thank you so much.