The Power of Kindness

Hello everyone, welcome to the Said in Therapy Podcast. Have you ever considered going to therapy and you ended up not going? My question is why? In my humble opinion, I believe everyone can benefit from therapy. In fact, I believe everybody should go at least once in their life.

My name is Iman Tohami and I'm a psychologist. This podcast tells you all about everyday cases with everyday people who have everyday problems and difficulties, and sometimes they carry around really deep wounds. These are their stories.

I'll try to release episodes more frequently now, and I know I've been saying this for a very long time, but I truly want to work on this space again because it brought me so much joy when I started, and I think it deserves a second and even a third chance.

Just to reflect a little on the issues that have been important to me the last year, you know, the last year especially has been incredibly difficult for me for personal reasons and health reasons. And it ended up being a year where I was the most absent on my social media or even here in this space.

So it also, you know, prompted me to think about life itself and how to approach life now that everything has been so different. And the last year ended on such a negative note for so many people who have been observing what's going on in the Middle East.

And maybe by sharing my thoughts, I might be of benefit to you all. I wanted to dedicate the next few episodes, maybe make a mini-series out of it, to kindness. Let's explore the incredible impact of simple acts of kindness on our daily lives.

Because I really think we are we are all craving it and we are all needing it, just to understand that not everything in life is evil, not everything in the world is evil. So I came across a um, if you will, quote that I want to share with you that actually prompted all of that.

So here it goes. Part of the reason why we jump so readily into dark conclusions about other people and see plots to insult and harm us is a psychological phenomenon, self-hatred. The less we are like ourselves, the more we appear in our own eyes as plausible targets for Mockorean harm.

That is why being kind must first involve learning to be kind to oneself. I sat with that for a while, and I realized I haven't been kind to myself for a very long time. So I wanted to extend that to all of you and ask you the question: when was the last time you were kind to yourself?

Like truly kind, not splurging on something expensive or eating a little bit too much. When was the last time you gave yourself grace to just accept the state you're in and everything you've been through, and just accept the mistakes that you have made in your life just because you're human.

So let's start by defining kindness. Kindness is so much more than being nice. It's about empathy, compassion, and it's about real care for others. Kindness is the essence of humanity, at least to me. Connecting us on a very fundamental level.

But it's even more than that. The idea that we can survive without being kind is mind-boggling to say the least. Because if you're not kind to others, it's very likely that nobody's going to be kind to you. So keep that in mind next time you have the option to be kind and you're not.

Kindness has a ripple effect. Every act of kindness, no matter how small, will somehow impact you too, if you're extending it to someone else. When we show kindness, it inspires others to do the same, sort of creating a chain reaction of positivity and goodwill in our communities, in our circles, in our lives generally.

So when you're kind to someone, you're also essentially kind to yourself. Did you know that kindness isn't just good for the recipient, but also for the giver? And that's exactly what I'm trying to say. Research has shown it's actually the acts of kindness that release feel-good hormones like oxytocin and serotonin, boosting our mood and our overall well-being.

So there is so much research being done in being of service to others that shows that by default you're also in service to yourself. So by helping others, you're also helping yourself. But essentially, I also believe that kindness makes our relationship stronger, whether it's with friends, family, or even strangers that you have just met.

By showing kindness, we foster trust, respect, and a deeper connection with those who are around us. Obviously, I don't want you to be kind and exhaust yourself to the extent that you can no longer be kind to yourself because so you're so depleted.

That's again also not the point of being kind. Doing good doesn't mean it has to come at a cost of your own health and your own well-being. In times of difficulty, like we have been in for a few months now, kindness can be like a beacon of light.

It's such a powerful tool for healing, fostering healthy relationships, resilience, and finding hope amidst such adverse times where people don't really know how to react and what to do. Even in the smallest acts of kindness, we can make the world a better place.

Even if it's just for a while, even if it's just for a moment, and even if it's just the world of one person, kindness is a skill. And a skill is something that we can cultivate. It needs practice and intention.

There are people out there where you truly understand and see that kindness comes naturally to them. But I want to encourage you, if you're not a naturally kind person, and you know yourself, you're the person who sits with yourself the most, you're the person who is in your thoughts the most, you know your intentions.

Is kindness something that comes easy to you? Is kindness something that is difficult for you? But I want to encourage you to actually think about it as a skill you can really practice. And to practice it, you need a lot of intention.

Being kind is about being mindful. Mindful of your words and your actions, and choosing to spread kindness is actually more difficult than we believe. It's not just you going out being being nice to people. Kindness is something that you need to sit with yourself, understand your intention, why you're doing something.

Are you doing something to get something in return? Are you doing something with an agenda? Or are you doing something to truly be kind? And if kindness is one of your, you know, if kindness is one of the skills that you want to train, I encourage you to start today.

Remember that kindness is not just a virtue or a way of, you know, treating other people. See, you have to look at it more as a way of life. Because when you're kind, you're actually not losing anything. It doesn't mean that you're stupid, it doesn't mean that you're a pushover, it doesn't mean that people can just use you and abuse you.

Actually, it takes a lot of intelligence to be kind and to understand what battles you choose to fight and what battles you choose to let go of. Kindness ultimately comes with a lot of wisdom and wise people, I believe at least, are not stupid.

So thank you for tuning in today. I know this has been a shorter episode, but these were just a few thoughts I wanted to share with you. I wanted to invite you to the power of kindness. Because as we explore kindness, you will also understand that kindness is so much more than just helping people around you or helping communities or helping in the sense of helping.

I think kindness is just a bigger deal than we all understand. Anyway, until then, remember a little kindness goes a long way. Take care and be kind.

Hey, thank you so much for tuning in, and hopefully you will tune in again next week. It will be another episode talking to or about clients of mine, and you can find us on social media on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.

The handle is always @saidintherapy. Thank you so much.