How To Deal With Bad News

Hey everyone, how is everybody doing? Welcome back to Said in Therapy. As you notice, the intro is different today. And I did this on purpose because I believe sometimes we have to take a step back and maybe authentically reach out to people and find out how they feel.

I don't know about you, but I have been looking at the news extensively in the last couple of days. And you know, when bad news break, it is really hard to escape it. You might find it tricky to unplug or think about other things.

And I want you to know that it's very normal to feel overwhelmed by the news, especially after 2020. Especially that we are still in the pandemic and still, you know, having to deal with it somehow. But you know, when we look at the let's call it Palestinian struggle that is unfolding in the last couple of days, it is you know especially difficult to come by stories and events that don't seem as negative.

Because I want to share my thoughts with you. If you're feeling down about the world, you are not alone. And trust me, in the last year, if I have learned one thing, it's definitely that we are all in a similar situation.

The difference is how we deal with it, what our resources are, what kind of privilege we have. You know, when you look at the pandemic, it was a prime example for how resources are distributed in bad ways, how poor people remain poor, have poor access to you know, help, support, and yeah, safety measures.

Whereas in other countries and communities where money is not an issue, the situation dramatically changes to the opposite. But we have all one thing in common. If we watch the news, especially if we watch the news in the last couple of days, where you see Israelis, where you see Palestinians basically at war, an unfair war.

And if you've been following me on social media, you know exactly where I stand with my opinions. So I don't want to make this episode about what I think was right. I feel if you are a minority and you don't have the same kind of resources and you are fought by a power that is ultimately so much stronger, it's not a fair fight.

I think this is all that I want to say about this in this episode. So moving on, I want to give you a few tips, you know, that you should use because your mental health depends on it. If you have been like me watching the news non-stop in the last couple of days, it's very likely that you didn't even sleep.

If you're a Muslim and you you celebrated Eid in the in the in the you know, you should still be celebrating Eid technically, and you really felt it's not right, then I want you to acknowledge the negative thoughts.

However, hold on to what's good. In bad times, it is even more important to celebrate what's good. So if you have occasions, hold on to them even if you are sad.

Reacting to bad news, you know, some common reactions to all of us is basically feeling anxious and worried, depressed and sad, helpless, confused, angry. And all of that is fair, but evaluate the situation for what it is. Where are you?

What do you have to offer? Do you have money? Can you donate? If you don't have enough money, that's no problem. What else do you have? You know, we all have this little computer in our hands, nearly 24-7.

It's ultimately the one tool that you should use to raise awareness. Trust me, I have been spamming politicians and TV personalities nonstop in the last couple of days. Ultimately, some of them blocked me. And that tells you something.

If you have the power to make people feel, if you have the power to take away comfort from people, you know, not in the sense that you steal something from them, but you to make them, you know, sit in their discomfort by seeing pictures and videos and hearing screams, you should.

Sensitive content is tricky to share. But I believe in a situation like this, we all shouldn't look away. Because if you can look away and go on about your life as if nothing happened, this is privilege. And then it's time for you to step back and realize okay, I can actually do something about this.

Numbing my pain and ignoring it is not the solution here. Take the little computer, your mobile phones, your cell phones, and spread awareness. Even if you think you don't have a huge following, it does make a difference.

But I also know how important that is. Last night has been the, I don't know, the first night in weeks have actually slept good. And not because, you know, I could actually take my mind off the things that's that are happening, it was basically because I was so exhausted.

We all have private personal problems, we all have, you know, world pains. This is how I want to call it, and ultimately I'm just translating the word Weltschmerz from German into English to tell you that when we look outside and watch the news, we are all hurting, we are all suffering in a way.

But if we don't switch off, people who depend on us, we suffer as well. Especially if you have children, especially if you have to support someone in need, especially if you're taking care of your elders. So only check news once or twice a day.

Do your thing, spread awareness, and switch off. Schedule blogs of time every day that are free of social media. You could try not to use social media, I don't know, for three hours or so. When you wake up in the morning, you know, leave your phone far away.

Possibly don't make it your alarm. So if you, you know, if your alarm wakes you up in the morning and it's not your phone, you actually have to sit up and get your phone. So it gives you a few moments to just, you know, sit with yourself or lay there with yourself if you're not someone who wakes up immediately.

I always take a few minutes before I leave the bed. This is a form of self-care. You know, just give yourself the awareness that you just woke up, that this is a new day, and make plans. If you immediately take your phone, look at the news, you will set the mood for the rest of the day.

The second thing I want to tell you is rethink your news sources. There is so much propaganda out there. And again, I'm not going to tell you what you should believe in and what you shouldn't believe in, who to follow and what not to follow, and what to share and what not to share.

I'm just telling you, every story has two sides. And if you know a story is broadcasted or shared very one-sided, you should worry. Because ultimately, you know, when they say history is written by the winners or history is written by the victors, it's very true.

We will never know the full truth. So it's even more important to do the right research. Listen to both both sides, listen to basically ultimately everything you can get to form your own opinion. But again, do this with reason, do this with reason and do this with I don't know if you need a time watch.

So yeah, do this with a stopwatch. Also ask yourself the resources that you follow. Are they focused on the truth or are they focused on one specific message that they want you to take from it? Is it fair?

Does it take sides? And if it takes sides, why does it take sides? Is it independent? Trust me, if you follow government news stations, they're almost always biased. And who is accountable? You know, if someone spreads negative or wrong news, who can you turn to?

And then, you know, it's also very important to understand why news are upsetting you. Some news, when we watch them, you know, they will affect us more than the other. If you feel connected to the news, there must be a reason.

And when news hit close to home, whether it's a tragedy, you know, something that happened in your country, a neighboring country, death of a person you admire, I don't know. It can feel very personal. So if what you are feeling is more a sense of empathy for those who are affected by the tragedy, it's worth speaking about it to someone you trust.

Talk to your friends, talk to your family members. Uh it might seem counterproductive, but trust me, talking is very powerful.

The next point would be if you are with your loved ones, be with your loved ones. You don't need to discuss every single tragedy, every news you hear with people you love. Chances are they already know. Chances are you talked about it before.

It's okay to have dinner together without discussing it. It's okay to watch a movie together without discussing it. It's okay to go on a walk with your children and watch them play and enjoy that. And last but not least, probably the most important thing of all, accept your level of control.

When something bad happens, our immediate response may be to ask ourselves, what can we do to help? And how can we put an end to this? Feeling helpless is a natural response, and one can you know feel very stressed about that.

I do, trust me, I do. But while there are usually things big and small that we can do, as I mentioned, you know, sharing awareness, spreading the word, donating, we can't stop it entirely on our own. You we will have to create a movement, but you are alone.

And when you're alone in your room, you have very limited resources. So accept that. Learning to understand how much influence we can have over something is very important, and it's so important and it actually that it actually can reduce the stress.

You know, doing this podcast is in a way my way to step away from the situation and see, you know, look at the bigger pip bigger picture and see what I can actually do. So I decided to record this last minute, even though I wasn't planning to.

Because I feel I'm out of uh I'm out of options. Again, I'm not saying ignore it or that you shouldn't help. In fact, helping out and trying to do something positive can make us feel so much better and really make a difference.

As I said, social media can be very, very powerful, but we need to understand what is the most helpful way to contribute to our cause, and we have to learn to accept our limits.

So, yeah, that's basically all I have for today. I hope it helped. Hey, thank you so much for tuning in, and hopefully, you will tune in again next week. It will be another episode talking to or about clients of mine, and you can find us on social media on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.

The handle is always @saidintherapy. Thank you so much.